Real Talk Archives | EricaBeale.com

…And Then, I Totally Got Burnt Out

March 30, 2023 ericab Blog - Real Talk 0 Comments

I’m Still Ten Weeks In, but I Could Use a Nap

Well, I was so damn proud of myself last week. I should have known I’d hit a wall. I guess it happens to everyone once in a while.

Last week my work was rough, to say the least. By the time I was done with the day, I could hardly think. I barely wrote anything for most of it, and when the weekend hit, I couldn’t bring myself to write at all.

Admittedly, I was a little sick, too. I then became VERY sick by Tuesday because I pushed my body too hard. Again.

Plus, that Diablo IV Beta dropped on the old Xbox and I got a little caught up in it. I’m personally surprised. In fact, part of me is thinking I want to convince my husband to buy it for me in June when it launches. He’s on the fence, but I think it would take only a suggestive wink to swing him to my side. Of course, my dear sweet rogue, Thana, is no more so I’ll have to start over from the beginning. Ah well.

In the end, I decided to move my drop date for Cosmic Cons to Tuesday. It’s available right now for only 11 tokens on Amazon Vella. I had a lot of fun with the episode. If you think Raekah is amusing, her siblings are just as silly.

I didn’t want to do a full blog this time around since I’m still recovering from being sick plus mentally exhausted. I’ll be back to my usual charming self on Monday. Until next time, Keep your Mind in the Gutter.

Making the Habit: Two Months In Writing

March 20, 2023 ericab Blog - Real Talk 0 Comments

Actually, I’m at Nine Weeks In!

On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally’s study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit.
James Clear

I have stopped and started writing so many times over the years. Something always got in the way. Either it was my health (FU Hidradenitis supparativa!) or a lack of confidence in my writing skills. I’d start off strong with all these wonderful ideas in my head of writing, but I’d just…stop. It was a serious blow to my self-esteem each time it happened.

Now, FINALLY, I’m at a point where I write most days. This brings me a lot of inner peace, honestly. It’s become a habit. For instance, I’m super exhausted after hanging out with my friends, something I really don’t get to do too often anymore because of adulting, yet I still managed to write this. I almost didn’t. But here I am because I made a promise to myself to take my passion seriously.

Me Being Proud of Me (and that’s Important)!

I’m feeling really good about myself right now. I’m at 30K words on my main novel, Hell–Bent has been published, and I’m tinkering with the next in my Crimson series. I’m a day behind on Cosmic Cons, so that will probably release on Tuesday this week. If you’re not caught up, it’s a good time to get into it!

Anyway, shout out to all those who have supported me. Without you, I would have given up on myself already. Even a simple “like” pushes me to continue.

So, until next time, my friends, Keep your Mind in the Gutter.

P.S. In the meantime, enjoy a picture of me in a silly hat

I Fell In Love with a Lady

February 6, 2023 ericab Blog - Real Talk - Updates 0 Comments

Don’t Worry, Nate, She’s not a Threat!

You know, I had a couple of things–serious things!–I wanted to blog about and I had even planned on doing one for today. However, something relatively unexpected happened on Saturday. As the title of this post suggests, I met a girl and I fell head-over-heads in love with her.

A Tragic Backstory

(This time, there is no disgusting Brach’s candy involved)

About a decade ago, Nate and I brought a new cat into our home. We had no intention of getting one as one of our cats had died about 6 months prior. But, a friend of a friend who does a lot of great work rescuing neighborhood cats posted a plea. She wanted to find a home for a mama cat she’d rescued. All the kittens were taken, but mom needed to find a family of her own.

My heart went to this cat. So, we reached out, met up with the kitty whisperer, then brought home our new cat.

Originally, I’d named her Boca Chidori, which (probably incorrectly, mind you) translated into something like “mouth full of birds.” She was loud as hell and very vocal. Anyway, that was too long. We decided to shorten it to ChiChi.

ChiChi was a great cat…most of the time. The day we got her, she did steal a sandwich right out of my hand. And she frequented the trash can to search for leftovers no matter what we did to prevent it. That being said, she would always comfort me with purrs and snuggles. Every time I decided to take a nap on the couch, which was frequent, she’d lie on top of me, stretched out and happily purred.

A couple of weeks before Christmas last year, she died. I didn’t take it well. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk about it with my closest friends. It hurt so much. One day she was fine, then she seemed a little sick, then one day…

Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it still. Hell, I miss that cat.

Letting New Love In

I think it was about a week ago when a different friend posted about finding an abandoned cat she turned into a local animal shelter. That cat looked a heck of a lot like my ChiChi. It broke my heart that someone would just leave their sweet cat behind.

Until that point, I had decided I didn’t want to invest in another cat. I still had our older cat, Little Bit, so I figured that’s enough. But I started thinking about it, and how much I miss all the love I’d shared with Chichi over the last 10 years. So, Nate and I talked, and he felt that if I was ready to get a new cat, we should. He is a real sucker for cats, let me tell you. I knew it wouldn’t be a hard sell.

He really took point on things. Nate went ahead and gathered all the supplies we would need for a new little friend. Maybe, in his heart, he was excited as I was about the plan. On Saturday, we headed out to find us a cat.

First we hit up a PetSmart. I’d seen a cat online that I really wanted to meet. For longer than I’d like to admit, I’d wanted to get a black and white cat to name Spock. Yes, I’m a complete dork, and I’m not ashamed of it.

But, as it turns out, they didn’t do adoptions on Saturday. There was no one to show off the pets. Of all days of the week not to do it.

Nate offered to come back on Sunday to get the cat, but I really wanted to be there. Sunday was a writing day for me and I’m trying hard to stay on task. Instead, we decided to hit up an animal shelter not far away.

When You Know, You KNOW

I remember feeling incredibly nervous once we pulled into the parking lot. There was no reason to be, but I really was. Everything is kind of a blur now. Maybe too much excitement. I’m not sure.

When we went back to meet all the available kitties. There were a few others in as well, going through with the same journey. There were some adorable cats there looking for homes, but none of them evoked any real feelings in me.

That’s Until I Saw Her

They’d named her Rose-Bud. The first thing I noticed was her beautiful fur. I’d always loved orange cats, but hers was a lot lighter than I’d seen before. Almost a strawberry blonde color. It fascinated me. I made small talk with her with “Hi, kitty kitty” and a few beconing clicking sounds of the tongue. She stared at me for a moment, then rolled over onto her back, which in my mind, I thought meant approval or interest. I felt a fluttering in my chest as a feeling of joy washed over me. It was so intense like someone was giving my soul a warm, loving hug.

One of the staff came over and asked if I was interested, which I was. The young woman told me how sweet she was and asked if I wanted to pet her. So I did. The moment we touched, I knew. This was my cat. My new love. The feeling was so powerful, I felt tears welling in my eyes.

Nate signed all the paperwork since they took his ID instead of mine. Ten minutes later, we were in the car with our new roommate.

A Strong Name for a Strong Lady

Rose-Bud wasn’t her name, though. First of all, I was pretty set on naming whatever cat we chose after a Star Trek character. This cat is so cool and collected. The whole ride, she didn’t meow, didn’t squirm. She just sat in the carrier, in my lap, and went along with the ride. Plus she is incredibly beautiful. Only one name came to mind: Jadzia Dax. We’ll be calling her Dax for short, but that’s my new girl’s name.

My girl Jadzia Dax. She was always my favorite on DS9. Now I have my own Dax at home with me. The best thing is, she’s settling in incredibly well! It’s like she’s always lived here. I love it. And I love her!

And that, dear reader, is How I Met my Kitty.

Until next time, Keep Your Mind In the Gutter!

(Btw, I’m nearly done with the next part of my Tales Dripping in Crimson story Hell-Bent. Don’t forget to get caught up with the other three in the series!)

Life After (Facebook) Death

January 30, 2023 ericab Blog - Real Talk - Updates 0 Comments

Or How Losing my Account Brought Me Back to Life

(This post is dedicated to my big boss, Denise, who told me to write something this weekend. She’s not a lady you want to let down!)

Yeah, I know it’s been a while. It probably would have been a lot longer if I hadn’t been Facebook-jacked. I didn’t realize how much I used the app until I lost access. It SUCKED. This happened right before my birthday, so I was a little bummed out to miss out on birthday wishes. I felt absolutely disconnected from my social circle. Sure, I just texted the people I’m closest to, but FB is more for connections to those you may not talk to as regularly.

The worst part is the loss of my writer page. That’s what drove me to write a blog post. I worked hard on it! Now totally gone.

I’ve done everything to recover the account, but the asshole who stole it turned off two-factor authentication and removed my cellphone number from the account. I tried getting in touch with Facebook, but, as it turns out, it’s nearly impossible to do. Eventually, I gave up and started a new one. It hasn’t been the same, though.

That being said, since then, I’ve been feeling the urge to write again. Maybe annoyance was the fuel I needed. Who knows.

What have I been up to?

The answer is not much. My creativity has been completely zapped away. I want to write, but by the end of the workday, it’s the last thing on my mind. I just want to sit around, watch TV, play video games, and sleep. You know, the typical adult experience these days.

Over the last few weeks, though, Crimson has been calling. Kay and Dena have been tapping some glass in my brain, reminding me they’re waiting for their story to be fully realized. The only thing with that is I think I’m going to have to rewrite huge chunks of it. Just when I finished writing the whole thing, too. Well, a while ago, anyway.

Then, that drive to redo The Last Fae, makes me want to write the short stories I’ve been working on as companion pieces. Hell-Bent has been sitting on my laptop, half-written since September/October. And of course, I need to continue Lady Olubayo’s Bordello, the serial novel set in the same world that I started on Vella. Don’t forget, the first three chapters are free, and if you read them, I get a couple of cents. Hey, any little bit will make me feel accomplished, so if you could….

I really miss it. Writing makes me happy. It’s one of the most fulfilling things I can do for myself, and I just abandoned it. Again. I’m pretty mad at myself about it.

So What am I Going to Do About It?

Starting right now, I’m going to dedicate at least 30 minutes a day to writing. I’ll finish work, have dinner, and mentally relax for maybe an hour or two. Then, I will write. It’s happening this time. I’m going to keep it up.

I will not stick to a particular schedule right now. My goal is to finish Hell-Bent within the next 30 days. I’m going to post a blog when my inspiration is inspired. Eventually, I’ll even get back into vlogging, since editing is another hobby I find a lot of joy in. I’m 42 now, and it’s time I do what the hell I want to do! I deserve it. Dammit.

Other social media rebuilding is coming soon. The next project will be to do a new author page. Wish me luck.

Until next time, my friend. Keep your Mind in the Gutter.

Intimate with Intimacy: The HS Victim’s Nightmare

August 29, 2022 ericab Adventures with HS - Blog - Real Talk 0 Comments

https://pixabay.com/photos/passion-lust-pair-hands-5120121/

Anyone with Hidradenitis Suppurativa will tell you how hard it is to get behind getting busy with someone new. It’s a damned nightmare. There’s always this fear in the back of your mind that your partner will take one look at your bump-n-lumps and run screaming for the hills. It’s not a good feeling.

Hubby and I started off with an online relationship. We lived on entirely different coasts. Luckily, with that distance between us, I could manipulate the narrative about my body. If I showed him anything, it was by picture or video. Super easy to hide the places I hated. My armpits, under my breasts, and my groin were all a war-zone back then, so I kept them well hidden at all times.

I was excited to see him in person for the first time. But I was also scared out of my mind. I told him I had a skin problem but glossed over how bad it really was. Thankfully, he is a very understanding person and we had no problems in the bedroom.

Even with him being understanding, I still freak out occasionally, but I think it’s an understandable feeling. I feel gross way more often than I feel sexy. Sometimes it puts me off sex, especially when the HS is really flaring up. It’s the absolute worst.

I’ve been with the same person for over 16 years, so I haven’t had to worry about the “someone new” aspect of HS for many moons. However, if I had to (like if Sweet Hot Thor comes a-knocking) this is the advice I’d give myself.

Only date someone who makes you feel comfortable.

One of the most important things in any relationship is to find someone you can be your truest self with. If you can’t, then it might just be time to move on.

Make sure you tell them about your condition before you hit the bedroom.

Having someone reaching down your pants is not when you want to drop the HS bomb. Way before you get to that stage, be open and honest about your condition. Hey, as uncool as HS is, there is no shame in it. It’s not something you can control and it’s a part of who you are. You may hate it, but you’re going to have to own it. Control the narrative before it controls you!

Don’t be afraid to give them research material

There are plenty of resources out there explaining hidradenitis suppurativa. Get together with your lover and show them what it’s all about. Understanding is key. Plus, this way your special person can get an idea of what they could possibly do to help you. My husband has been instrumental to me dealing with HS.

Take your time. There’s no rush!

Hey, only do things you’re ready for. If you’re in a relationship where someone is trying to push it too quickly, stand up for yourself. If that person can’t wait, well, they can go find someone else. You’re worth the time and if they don’t get that, then they can move the hell on.

Remember you’re a hot piece of ass no matter what condition you have

Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking to you. You are amazing and there is something about you that is more brilliant than the sun. HS is a small part of your life. The rest of you is what’s important. Don’t let HS hold you back!

You Won’t Go Through This Alone!

Don’t be afraid to tell your loved one about this aspect of your life. Yes, it sucks. There are miserable days sometimes that make you feel like the least sexy thing in the world. Just remember, while it may affect your life, HS is just a very obnoxious hurdle. Find someone who will go on the journey with you. And if your person doesn’t want to go with you, it’s time to pack up and leave them behind. You deserve only the best.

Until next time, my friend. Keep your Mind in the Gutter!

Hidradenitis Suppurativa

August 15, 2022 ericab Adventures with HS - Blog - Real Talk 1 Comment

A Pain in my Ass…LITERALLY

My Constant Companion

I have the vaguest of memories about the first time I realized something was wrong. I was nine years old. I had always been tall and fat, enough so that my fellow classmates made fun of me for it. But, unfortunately, I also started puberty. Imagine being fat and developing. Not the best time I’d ever had.

Not long after puberty started, I developed a large bump on the side of my groin. It hurt like hell. I remember my mom wanting me to walk to a store with her and I cried because the area hurt so badly I couldn’t walk. She heard nothing of it, of course, and dragged me out anyway.

Eventually, that one drained out and I felt better. Mom didn’t take me to a doctor or anything (not that doctors back then knew anything about hidradenitis back then). I was lucky it cleared up on it’s own.

But that wasn’t the only one. More came. Over and over again. On my groin. Under my arms. Under my breasts. And they hurt. And they smelled sometimes. I cried so many times over these areas. Why did I have to have this? What even was it?

It wasn’t until I was twenty-one that I got an answer.

Putting a Name to it

When I was twenty-one, I enrolled at a trade school to become a medical assistant. Part of that process included getting clearance from a doctor. My mom wasn’t big on doctors, so I never had a family doctor I went to regularly. Luckily the school had a partnership with local docs for cheap physicals with local doctors around the city. I made an appointment with one not far from my home.

Sick with nervousness, I went. I didn’t want to show off my underarms, which had become riddled with oozing holes and lumps. I thought for sure the doc would take a look and deny I was fit for duty. The doctor did look and finally gave me something I desperately needed: a name for what I had.

Hidradenitis suppratia. He didn’t really explain what it was, but having that much was practically a miracle. After he cleared me for school, I rushed home to jump on the internet to find out what in the ever actual loving f**k it was.

What is Hidradenitis Suppurativa, anyway?

Back then there wasn’t a whole lot of information. Still, what little I found gave me some peace of mind.

The explanation from Mayo Cliic:

Hidradenitis suppurativa (hi-drad-uh-NIE-tis sup-yoo-ruh-TIE-vuh) is a condition that causes small, painful lumps to form under the skin. The lumps usually develop in areas where your skin rubs together, such as the armpits, groin, buttocks and breasts. The lumps heal slowly, recur, and can lead to tunnels under the skin and scarring.
Mayo’s HS Page

Yeah, it’s about as sexy as it sounds. I can say with 100% confidence, that it’s the absolute f***ing worst. Keep in mind, HS usually strikes areas where your skin rubs together. Arm pits, under boob, between the legs/thighs, ass crack. God, in the ass crack has been the absolute worst experience.

It has three different stages, aka Hurley stages. I’ve made a handy infographic about it below, but let me give you the Erica listing:

Hurley’s stage 1: Bad
Hurley’s stage 2: Terrible
Hurley’s stage 3: F***********K

I’ll bet you can guess which stage I’m in. I always thought it was bad, but it just got worse over time.

Finding a cure

Right now there isn’t a cure for HS. There are things you can do on your own and therapeutic methods you can receive through a doctor. I’m pretty sure I’ve been on all of them at this point.

Stuff You Can Try at Home

(Of course, seek out a physician’s advice first!)

Elimination Diet

For some, HS could be triggered by certain foods. Many have removed dairy, sugar, bread and nightshade veggies from their diets. In some cases, it does help. Take one of these out and see if that makes your flares slow down

Tea Tree Oil

A clean scented oil that soothes. I suggest mixing it with something like coconut oil before applying to your skin. It can be harsh.

Vick’s Vapo Rub

I know this sounds crazy, but it does help. Not only does it soothe, but many find it helps bring the affected lump to a head so it will burst and drain.

Dietary Supplements

Tumeric is a natural anti-inflammatory. You can either make a paste with it and put it on the affected area, use it in food or tea, or take it in capsule form. Zinc has also been known to help out as well.

Hibiclens

Oh, Hibiclens! Where would I be without you? It’s an Antibacterial and Antimicrobial skin cleanser. It keeps the bacteria on the skin from forming. I use it daily on my areas. It’s a bit watery, so you probably want to invest in getting the foaming pump version. I bought it once, then refilled it with regular bottles of the cleaner.

Again, please (PLEASE) speak to a doctor before starting any treatment! I want you to feel better AND be safe.

Treatments Doctors Could Suggest

Antibiotics

Your doctor will probably start you off with a regimen of low-dose antibiotics. Usually clindamycin or maybe something stronger like doxycycline. Just remember to take them on a full stomach (ask me how I know).

Biologics

From WebMD: Biologic drugs are human-made proteins that are designed to zero in on parts of the immune system that trigger inflammation. Medications such as Humira and Remicade fall under this.

Surgery

Every doctor I’ve had surgery with says they treat HS like cancer and remove it all (aka excision). Sometimes these can be large areas of the body. Healing can take a long time and can be grueling, but It will definitely bring relief once it’s all said and done. Unfortunately, the HS could return where you’ve had surgery.

Places to find help

HS is a wild ride and sometimes it can feel like the loneliest journey. You’re not alone, though. You can always hit me up and I’ll be happy to chat. Also, here are some places you can go to either find information or support. These sites are pretty active and can provide a lot of guidance.

Moving forward

Whew, that was a lot. I hope it helps! I will be doing an ongoing series in regard to my life with HS. Talking about it is therapeutic for me. Plus, maybe someone out there will see they’re not alone in dealing with this outrageous disease. As I said, it’s a pain in the ass, literally.

Keep your mind in the gutter. Until next time.

Here I Go Again on my Blog

August 8, 2022 ericab Blog - Real Talk 0 Comments

That’s Right, I’m Back!

I know, I know…

I’ve been away a lot longer than I wanted to be. But, it’s not totally my fault, per se. There are three big reasons why I haven’t been around for the last few months:

I got a promotion at work, so I was busier than normal
I’ve been in a lot of pain thanks to a chronic condition I have (more on that later, though)
Between these two things, my creativity and my energy have been totally wiped out

To be honest, I just couldn’t do it. Hell, I couldn’t do much of anything at all. Luckily, after being on medical leave and getting treatment, I’m feeling a little more like myself and I’ve been wanting to get back into some things I’d lost interest in temporarily. So, here I am, asking for forgiveness for being away so long. I’m back now. Hopefully for good! Unfortunately, I get flares from time to time, so it might not last as long as I like. Right now, though, I have a few weeks’ worths of content in my brain that I’m now working on.

Living with Hidradenitis Supprativa

I’ve dealt with this damn condition since I was nine years old. I didn’t know what it was until I was twenty-one, however. It’s a pain in the ass (lately, this is quite literal). A lot of people have never heard of it, including I doctor I saw recently for pain. I’m not mad at him. It’s rarely talked about.

My plan is to help change that. I want to start a series centered around understanding and living with HS. I’ve had a lot of experience in that area, plus it’s easier to point at my blog and say “This is what I’m going through” instead of having to explain over and over again.

Check back soon. The first post is already brewing.

If you need support right now for HS, check out the HS Foundation. It’s a great resource for information and help!

My Next Novel

The Last Fae needs a lot of editing, and so does its sequel, A Demon in her Skin (I love that title!). But, I need a break from that particular world. Lately, I’ve been really into another old story of mine. The tentative title is A Prince and his Dragon. It’s about a prince who is magically tied to a dragon trapped in human form. He has to go on the run from his kingdom after his family is betrayed by a foreign country. The bond between them is intensely sexual, though they both have mates and absolutely must resist. I’ll tell you more about it soon. I promise!

Your Smut Writer Plays Games

A girl needs something to get her going. I’ve always been a fan of games. Admittedly, I lean more towards things like Stardew Valley and House Flipper. But, a smut writer needs more! I’m perusing Steam to find free/cheap erotic games to play. I’m going to be Live streaming on Twitch on Fridays at 9 PM EST. I’ll also post videos to my two Youtube Channels: Erica B Writes Smut for a kind of review situation and Smut Writer Plays Games for the raw streams. They’ll be updated as I can.

Um….it’s not all going to be smut. I will also play whatever game strikes my fancy. House Flipper has become and addiction, and somehow the catalyst for getting me back into my creativity. Here’s a video for one of my oldest flips:

I’ve come a long way since then. I’ll update newer ones soon.

I’ll update my blog when I drop a video. Here’s my planned schedule as of right now:

Mondays for blog posts
Tuesdays for Erica B Writes Smut videos
Friday streaming on Twitch
Sunday uploading the raw streams to SW Plays Games

Of course, I may post things in between. Don’t forget to subscribe to keep up to date!

That’s where I’ve been and here is where I’m going. I’m going to keep moving forward as best I can. I hope you’ll take this journey with me.

Until next time!

Getting Grammarous

February 21, 2022 ericab Blog - Random Tidbits - Real Talk 0 Comments

Back in my day…

*Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixaba*y

Okay, so it’s officially time to get with The Plan. Today we’re going with #11: Share the first piece you ever wrote – talk about how you’ve grown as a writer and what you’ve learned from it. Well, Getting Grammarous was one of the first articles I wrote on my original blog back in the day. Pour one out for More Bang…

The most important thing I learned from this is the words themselves. I had a very sketchy understanding of some of the latter words. I blame high school. I didn’t have an English teacher for most of my freshman year. I’m doing okay now. Luckily, I was blessed to have an amazing teacher for senior year. I got a lotta writing growth out of his class.

Another thing I learned is I’m not confident enough to post this kind of content. Just looking at it makes me wonder if I went the right way with the words. You have to teach what you know, but also be willing to learn from your mistakes.

Anyway, on with the show, lol.

A Flashback to More Bang

Getting Grammarous, EDBeale Style

There are a lot of blogs/websites devoted to helping people with grammar. This is my take on the common errors and with some (hopefully!) insightful and memorable examples–E.D.B. style, aka dirty (I can’t help it; I write erotic fiction…) >:D.

The Triple T’s: To, Too, and Two

These dirty bastards have been giving people troubles for a long time.

To: While it has a couple of other uses, it often goes along with “heading somewhere.”

Ex: Let’s go to the store so we can buy a dirty movie.

Too: Its used to say “also” or to indicate “very” or “excessive.”

Ex: Your sister can join us, too.

Two: It’s the number.

Ex: Sure, I’ve taken on two men at once before. It was awesome!

The Difference in “Its”

Personally, I think these two are easy to mistake.

It’s: This one is the contraction for “it is.”

Ex: It’s so hard!

Its: This one is a possessive pronoun like yours, his, hers, etc.

Ex: I found one of my nipple tassels, but I can’t find its twin.

Affect vs. Effect

This is another one of those butt-kickers.

Affect: This one is to have an influence on.

Ex: Baby, you know how sexy black dress affects me. I won’t be able to concentrate!

Effect: Usually you’ll see this one as a result of something.

Ex: The Viagra had a positive effect on my husband’s libido.

Your and his cousin You’re

Well, maybe they’re more like step-siblings…

Your: It’s one of those pesky possessive pronouns (ooh, baby, alliteration!)

Ex: I love how your body feels against mine.

You’re: It’s the contraction for “you are.”

Ex: You’re the only one that I need.

Taking it Further/Farther

This is one that took me a long time to realize, personally.

Further: When it comes to the amount of time, you use this one. It’s also used for “additionally” and “degree of.”

Ex: My date and I took it further than I planned, but that’s okay. He’s hot!

Farther: This one refers to distance.

Ex: Your house is farther away than mine, so let’s just go to mine. I can’t wait anymore!

Well, Good!

You’d think they’d be interchangeable. Who would have thought that they were completely different?!

Well: This one is normally an adverb for description. As an adjective, well means “healthy.”

Ex: (Adverb) Oh, baby, you know my body so well. *tremble with pleasure*

(Adjective) After that romp in the sack last night, you’re looking well.

Good: Good is an adjective.

Ex: You taste good. >:D

Ugh…Lay vs. Lie

These are the worst of the worst, mostly because of their tenses.

Lay: This means to put something down. More importantly, it has to be done to something else.

Ex: Lay your hands on my body.

Lie: This means to recline.

Ex: Lie on the bed with me so I can hold you.

Now, why are these so evil? Well, the past tense of lay is “laid,” while the past of lie is “lay.” And that’s why people from other countries think English is hard to master…Ugh…

So, “Lay your hands on my body” would become “You laid your hands on my body.” “Lie on the bed with me so I can hold you” becomes “Last night, you lay in bed with me so I could hold you.”

There are more words out there that are so similar yet so completely different. With any luck, these will not be among them for you any longer!

Oy…Words can be Rough

I’m seriously hoping I’m not losing face on my grammar knowledge. It’s been a LONG TIME since school. I just turned 41 recently, you know. I barely remember yesterday most days.

Check back soon for the insanity that is me!

The Valentine’s Day Post

February 14, 2022 ericab Blog - Random Tidbits - Real Talk 0 Comments

Obligitory Toast to Love

It’s Valentine’s Day! I’m sure you knew that already, though. You know your resident Smut Writer had to do a little Quickie for you to celebrate the day. It’s a bit broken off a story I never finished. It’s about a woman whose lover is dead. The lover asked his friend to take his place as the tradition of their people.

Did I mention the two dudes are dragons in human form and the main woman doesn’t know?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it as always.

Other than that, I’m not sure what I’ll be doing today, especially since I’m writing this post in advance. I mean, other than working my day job. Mondays are the absolute worst.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t really give me a lot to talk about from my real life. That’s when I thought, I could always present my top 5 favorite romance movies I watch when I want to be swept off my feet for a couple of hours. If that’s not Valentine’s Day in the time of Covid, I don’t know what is.

My Top 5 Fav Romance Films

5. In Your Eyes (2014)

Now I’ve only watched this one once and it was a long time ago. I randomly came across it on Netflix one bored night long after Nate fell asleep.

From IMDb: Two seemingly unconnected souls from different corners of the United States make a telepathic bond that allows them to see, hear and feel the other’s experiences, creating a bond that apparently can’t be broken.

It gave me warm fuzzies. The only disappointing thing is it’s written by Joss Whedon, and he’s on the outs with everyone right now. Still, a lot of people worked hard on the film, so that shouldn’t stop someone from enjoying it. I mean, one asshole is just one asshole. Besides, the movie graced this world with a wonderful song by Twinbed called Trouble I’m In. Great song for writing a saucy, romantic sexy scene.

4. I Origins (2014)

I’m a sucker for past life stuff. Love it. I’m not sure how I’ve never written my own story about it.

From IMDb: A molecular biologist and his laboratory partner uncover evidence that may fundamentally change society as we know it.

The synopsis doesn’t really do it justice. It’s about finding a profound connection to someone, losing that love, and despite moving on, how those feelings can haunt you. Especially when the disconnect was sudden and you never really made peace with it. This one made me cry at the end.

3. Equals (2015)

This movie is beautifully sad with a great atmospheric soundtrack.

From IMDb: In an emotionless utopia, two people fall in love when they regain their feelings from a mysterious disease, causing tensions between them and their society.

Between this movie and The Great, Nicholas Hoult is one of my favorite Hollywood dudes. This was another movie I accidentally stumbled across late one night (it’s a pattern for me). He and Kristen Stewart really sold me on the forbidden romance thing. You could feel the anxiousness, frustration, and passion when they’re together. Good film to get you in the mood to write something a little depressing, but with twinges of hope.

2. Legend (1985)

I honestly don’t know if I’d really consider this a romance. It’s a fantasy film with romance, which is good enough for me.

From IMDb: A young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.

So, this might be a problem, but Tim Curry was hot as Darkness. I don’t know what to tell you. I could be broken, but that’s ok. No shame. And let us not forget about the wonder that is Tangerine Dream’s soundtrack. I’ve written many scenes to Jack and Lily’s Theme. If I had to pick a favorite movie from childhood, this would be it.

1. Pride and Prejudice (2005)

Yes, I know the BBC mini-series is superior, but…I can’t help myself. I love this version to pieces.

From IMDB: Sparks fly when spirited Elizabeth Bennet meets single, rich, and proud Mr. Darcy. But Mr. Darcy reluctantly finds himself falling in love with a woman beneath his class. Can each overcome their own pride and prejudice?

I don’t even have any words. It was wonderful. I’ve watched it more times than I can count now. I will say that I would take either Colin Firth’s or Matthew MacFadyen’s Mr. Darcy ANY DAY. Too hot. Too, too hot.

Get Some of that VD Lovin Feeling

There are plenty of wonderful romances out there. Maybe you’re in the middle of your own. And, hey, if you are, tell me about it! I can always use inspiration. But, if you don’t have (or want) a romance of your own, I hope you’ll pop on one of these movies and it gives you the same amount of warm fuzzies as it does me.

Until later, hugs and kisses (and some other stuff, too)

I Have a PLAN!

February 7, 2022 ericab Blog - Real Talk - Updates 0 Comments

I Guess we can Call it a Plan…

I’ve been trying to come up with some ideas of things to blog about. I mean, I can talk and talk, but I should give making some sense a chance once in a while, amirite? While Googling around the Internets, I came across an intriguing blog post on Mixtus Media. It’s 100 NEW Blog Topics for Fiction Writers.

Now that sounds like something a girl can work with!

I’m not sure I’ll get to the whole 100, but as long as I try, I’ll have some content to pump out. More importantly, It will be a load of fun.

So many good ideas…I barely know where to start. I’m legit excited about it. Especially since I’m trying to write a few blog posts in advance on the weekends to keep me up to date for some time.

A Little Something to Get Started

15. Share the best writing advice you’ve ever gotten.

I’m going to have to say, the best piece of advice I’ve gotten is to JUST WRITE. Don’t stop. Just keep going. If a section of your story has you stuck, skip it and go to another part that will flow. The rest will come in time. And your first draft is just your first draft. It isn’t meant to be a masterpiece.

Also, write what you’re into. Write a book you’d like to read yourself if you weren’t the one writing it. Someone out there will enjoy it just as much as you do.

Just don’t worry. Make it fun. It should be a good time. Will it stress you out sometimes? HELL YES. But that’s okay. All writers go through THE STRUGGLE. You’re in good company.

Going Forward from Here

Right now, I’m dropping a post at least Mondays at 10:00 AM, EST. I hope you stop by then and find out a little more about what I’m working on!

In the meantime, catch a bit of my ongoing work, The Last Fae, here. It’s a little bit I particularly enjoyed writing that I hope you have fun with, too!

Until next time.

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