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Life After (Facebook) Death

Or How Losing my Account Brought Me Back to Life

(This post is dedicated to my big boss, Denise, who told me to write something this weekend. She’s not a lady you want to let down!)

Yeah, I know it’s been a while. It probably would have been a lot longer if I hadn’t been Facebook-jacked. I didn’t realize how much I used the app until I lost access. It SUCKED. This happened right before my birthday, so I was a little bummed out to miss out on birthday wishes. I felt absolutely disconnected from my social circle. Sure, I just texted the people I’m closest to, but FB is more for connections to those you may not talk to as regularly.

The worst part is the loss of my writer page. That’s what drove me to write a blog post. I worked hard on it! Now totally gone.

I’ve done everything to recover the account, but the asshole who stole it turned off two-factor authentication and removed my cellphone number from the account. I tried getting in touch with Facebook, but, as it turns out, it’s nearly impossible to do. Eventually, I gave up and started a new one. It hasn’t been the same, though.

That being said, since then, I’ve been feeling the urge to write again. Maybe annoyance was the fuel I needed. Who knows.

What have I been up to?

The answer is not much. My creativity has been completely zapped away. I want to write, but by the end of the workday, it’s the last thing on my mind. I just want to sit around, watch TV, play video games, and sleep. You know, the typical adult experience these days.

Over the last few weeks, though, Crimson has been calling. Kay and Dena have been tapping some glass in my brain, reminding me they’re waiting for their story to be fully realized. The only thing with that is I think I’m going to have to rewrite huge chunks of it. Just when I finished writing the whole thing, too. Well, a while ago, anyway.

Coming Soon!

Then, that drive to redo The Last Fae, makes me want to write the short stories I’ve been working on as companion pieces. Hell-Bent has been sitting on my laptop, half-written since September/October. And of course, I need to continue Lady Olubayo’s Bordello, the serial novel set in the same world that I started on Vella. Don’t forget, the first three chapters are free, and if you read them, I get a couple of cents. Hey, any little bit will make me feel accomplished, so if you could….

I really miss it. Writing makes me happy. It’s one of the most fulfilling things I can do for myself, and I just abandoned it. Again. I’m pretty mad at myself about it.

So What am I Going to Do About It?

Starting right now, I’m going to dedicate at least 30 minutes a day to writing. I’ll finish work, have dinner, and mentally relax for maybe an hour or two. Then, I will write. It’s happening this time. I’m going to keep it up.

I will not stick to a particular schedule right now. My goal is to finish Hell-Bent within the next 30 days. I’m going to post a blog when my inspiration is inspired. Eventually, I’ll even get back into vlogging, since editing is another hobby I find a lot of joy in. I’m 42 now, and it’s time I do what the hell I want to do! I deserve it. Dammit.

Other social media rebuilding is coming soon. The next project will be to do a new author page. Wish me luck.

Until next time, my friend. Keep your Mind in the Gutter.

Here I Go Again on my Blog

That’s Right, I’m Back!

I know, I know…

I’ve been away a lot longer than I wanted to be. But, it’s not totally my fault, per se. There are three big reasons why I haven’t been around for the last few months:

  1. I got a promotion at work, so I was busier than normal
  2. I’ve been in a lot of pain thanks to a chronic condition I have (more on that later, though)
  3. Between these two things, my creativity and my energy have been totally wiped out

To be honest, I just couldn’t do it. Hell, I couldn’t do much of anything at all. Luckily, after being on medical leave and getting treatment, I’m feeling a little more like myself and I’ve been wanting to get back into some things I’d lost interest in temporarily. So, here I am, asking for forgiveness for being away so long. I’m back now. Hopefully for good! Unfortunately, I get flares from time to time, so it might not last as long as I like. Right now, though, I have a few weeks’ worths of content in my brain that I’m now working on.

Living with Hidradenitis Supprativa

I’ve dealt with this damn condition since I was nine years old. I didn’t know what it was until I was twenty-one, however. It’s a pain in the ass (lately, this is quite literal). A lot of people have never heard of it, including I doctor I saw recently for pain. I’m not mad at him. It’s rarely talked about.

My plan is to help change that. I want to start a series centered around understanding and living with HS. I’ve had a lot of experience in that area, plus it’s easier to point at my blog and say “This is what I’m going through” instead of having to explain over and over again.

Check back soon. The first post is already brewing.

If you need support right now for HS, check out the HS Foundation. It’s a great resource for information and help!

My Next Novel

The Last Fae needs a lot of editing, and so does its sequel, A Demon in her Skin (I love that title!). But, I need a break from that particular world. Lately, I’ve been really into another old story of mine. The tentative title is A Prince and his Dragon. It’s about a prince who is magically tied to a dragon trapped in human form. He has to go on the run from his kingdom after his family is betrayed by a foreign country. The bond between them is intensely sexual, though they both have mates and absolutely must resist. I’ll tell you more about it soon. I promise!

Your Smut Writer Plays Games

A girl needs something to get her going. I’ve always been a fan of games. Admittedly, I lean more towards things like Stardew Valley and House Flipper. But, a smut writer needs more! I’m perusing Steam to find free/cheap erotic games to play. I’m going to be Live streaming on Twitch on Fridays at 9 PM EST. I’ll also post videos to my two Youtube Channels: Erica B Writes Smut for a kind of review situation and Smut Writer Plays Games for the raw streams. They’ll be updated as I can.

Um….it’s not all going to be smut. I will also play whatever game strikes my fancy. House Flipper has become and addiction, and somehow the catalyst for getting me back into my creativity. Here’s a video for one of my oldest flips:

I’ve come a long way since then. I’ll update newer ones soon.

I’ll update my blog when I drop a video. Here’s my planned schedule as of right now:

  • Mondays for blog posts
  • Tuesdays for Erica B Writes Smut videos
  • Friday streaming on Twitch
  • Sunday uploading the raw streams to SW Plays Games

Of course, I may post things in between. Don’t forget to subscribe to keep up to date!

That’s where I’ve been and here is where I’m going. I’m going to keep moving forward as best I can. I hope you’ll take this journey with me.

Until next time!

Decluttering My Brain Space

A Written Attempt at Regaining Personal Sanity

It’s been weeks since the last time I felt “OK.” I wouldn’t say I’m doing terrible or close to breaking down, but I haven’t been “OK.” Too much has been going on. My focus is zapped. My happiness has tanked.

The always required Cat Tax

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had spurts of happiness. Ultimately, my life isn’t bad. I’m still working (from home even!). My husband and I get along well so we’re actually enjoy being trapped with each other. Home is a haven where I can routinely have fun and explore creative pursuits. I have two cats to keep me entertained when they’re not trying to trip me down the stairs. I have a good life. I am very lucky.

Yet, things are weighing heavily on me. I mean, I’m aware that it’s doing that to everyone right now, but I haven’t really expressed my personal feelings. Well, to Nate, but otherwise I typically keep my thoughts guarded. Nothing like a good old defense mechanism.

But, this morning, as I toil through work, I thought to myself “you have a blog! GET. TO. WRITING.” Now I’m here. The more I think about it, I realize how much easier it is to organize a fictional tale than it is to organize my actual thoughts and feelings.

It won’t stop me from trying.

Venting into the Chaos

I want to start off by saying, I like people. All kinds of people. I like learning about different cultures. I try to see the best in everyone, even if no one else wants to.

Is that cliche as hell? Yeah, probably. Who doesn’t, right? Everyone says that shit.

Anyway, recently, I find myself not liking people as much, even the ones I love. Ugly is being flung around. I’m not a fan. No one has room to enlighten themselves. They’re right and that’s it. They don’t want to listen. I know it’s always been that way, but it’s getting to me.

Is it so hard to try to learn from each other’s experiences? Isn’t it worthwhile making a point without cutting someone else down? Even if you don’t agree with someone, it’s not hard to be civil. If we can’t do that, how in the hell is anything supposed to change? How are we supposed to grow as a society?

Just take the moment to be kind. Yeah, not everyone deserves your kindness for sure, but show them a better way. It doesn’t cost you anything. They’re not going to remember the points (valid or otherwise) if you start the conversation by treating them like shit. There’s nothing to gain there.

Was now the Write Time?

I think I picked a really bad time to start writing. There’s too much going on and I highly doubt many will be interested in dark erotica fictions of any sort.

It’s unfair really. I FINALLY have the time now that our office is furloughed one day a week. I’ve put in some writing work. By the time I put this up, I would have self-published two stories on Smashwords (Bait and Awakening) and I’m working on the next thing.

Honestly, I don’t expect it to amount to anything. I’m more doing it for my own peace of mind, really. The books are free, so I’m not even looking for a profit.

The real problem is I feel super silly for doing it NOW. I should be something important. Or I feel like I should be, anyway.

Call Center Blues

I’m starting to suck at my job. I really am. My quality has gone down. Some patients get it, which is great. Some patients have forgotten we’re real people on the other end of the phone. And they seem to have forgotten our worlds have been turned upside down.

Healthcare is a beast. Please be kind to those in the field. We have a lot going on. Call center staff is on the front line, too, even if you don’t see us. A lot of responsibility has been doled out to us. We want to work with you, so please don’t work against us.

We can only do the best we can.

And it sucks when you make us cry. Yeah, that happened to me today. 10/10 would not recommend.

The end of thought

These are the things that really bother me at the moment. I just needed to get them out of my head so I can focus on my next story. The weight has been barely tolerable and I’d prefer not to break completely under the pressure. And even if no one sees this, at least it’s outside my headspace. But, if you are reading, thank you, friend. Until the next time we meet!

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