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Intimate with Intimacy: The HS Victim’s Nightmare

August 29, 2022 Adventures with HS - Blog - Real Talk 0 Comments
https://pixabay.com/photos/passion-lust-pair-hands-5120121/

Anyone with Hidradenitis Suppurativa will tell you how hard it is to get behind getting busy with someone new. It’s a damned nightmare. There’s always this fear in the back of your mind that your partner will take one look at your bump-n-lumps and run screaming for the hills. It’s not a good feeling.

Hubby and I started off with an online relationship. We lived on entirely different coasts. Luckily, with that distance between us, I could manipulate the narrative about my body. If I showed him anything, it was by picture or video. Super easy to hide the places I hated. My armpits, under my breasts, and my groin were all a war-zone back then, so I kept them well hidden at all times.

I was excited to see him in person for the first time. But I was also scared out of my mind. I told him I had a skin problem but glossed over how bad it really was. Thankfully, he is a very understanding person and we had no problems in the bedroom.

Even with him being understanding, I still freak out occasionally, but I think it’s an understandable feeling. I feel gross way more often than I feel sexy. Sometimes it puts me off sex, especially when the HS is really flaring up. It’s the absolute worst.

I’ve been with the same person for over 16 years, so I haven’t had to worry about the “someone new” aspect of HS for many moons. However, if I had to (like if Sweet Hot Thor comes a-knocking) this is the advice I’d give myself.

Only date someone who makes you feel comfortable.

One of the most important things in any relationship is to find someone you can be your truest self with. If you can’t, then it might just be time to move on.

Make sure you tell them about your condition before you hit the bedroom.

Having someone reaching down your pants is not when you want to drop the HS bomb. Way before you get to that stage, be open and honest about your condition. Hey, as uncool as HS is, there is no shame in it. It’s not something you can control and it’s a part of who you are. You may hate it, but you’re going to have to own it. Control the narrative before it controls you!

Don’t be afraid to give them research material

There are plenty of resources out there explaining hidradenitis suppurativa. Get together with your lover and show them what it’s all about. Understanding is key. Plus, this way your special person can get an idea of what they could possibly do to help you. My husband has been instrumental to me dealing with HS.

Take your time. There’s no rush!

Hey, only do things you’re ready for. If you’re in a relationship where someone is trying to push it too quickly,  stand up for yourself. If that person can’t wait, well, they can go find someone else. You’re worth the time and if they don’t get that, then they can move the hell on.

Remember you’re a hot piece of ass no matter what condition you have

Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking to you. You are amazing and there is something about you that is more brilliant than the sun. HS is a small part of your life. The rest of you is what’s important. Don’t let HS hold you back!

You Won’t Go Through This Alone!

Don’t be afraid to tell your loved one about this aspect of your life. Yes, it sucks. There are miserable days sometimes that make you feel like the least sexy thing in the world. Just remember, while it may affect your life, HS is just a very obnoxious hurdle. Find someone who will go on the journey with you. And if your person doesn’t want to go with you, it’s time to pack up and leave them behind. You deserve only the best.

Until next time, my friend. Keep your Mind in the Gutter!

An Erica in the Writing Wilds

August 22, 2022 Blog - Updates 0 Comments

Creativity Flowing like the Spice Melange

For real, though, I don’t know where this creative burst has come from. It’s been friggin’ insane in my brain for the last couple of weeks. I’m talking about writing, editing, making ebooks…My entire days have been filled with words. I hope they’re decent ones!

By the time you read this, I’ll be back at my day job. I’m expecting my energy to get zapped out of existence. I’m hoping not, but historically, that’s what has happened. But, with any amount of luck, my muse will stay with me.

But these last couple of weeks has been amazing. Even with the pain of my hidradenitis, I’ve been feeling spiritually fulfilled. I’ve loved every second of it, even the times when what I worked on frustrated the hell out of me.

(Ugh, don’t even get me started on the story I’ve been working on for the last three days. It’s done, just not edited.)

So, what have I been up to

I’ve been building my ebook catalog. Some of them were already available, but I wanted to go back in and get some editing done. Plus, they needed updated covers desperately.

All my latest/updated works

If you’d like to purchase any of these books, most of them are available on both Amazon and Smashwords. Tools of his Trade is only available on Kindle Unlimited.

Also, I’ve joined Literotica and Medium for posting a few freebies now and again. So far what I have on Literotica is doing very well. Medium, it’s too soon to tell.

Imparting Knowledge (hopefully)

In addition to writing, I’ve been making videos about things I’ve learned since delving into these projects. So far there are two: Canva vs Snappa for free covers and a quick rundown of getting Premium status on Smashwords (that’s coming tomorrow at 10 AM. Check it out!)

Here is the Canva/Snappa video for your viewing pleasure.

Check out both my YouTube Channels:

I also have a Twitch channel where I stream Fridays at 9PM EST.

Making a more educational video was a struggle at first, but after I got used to recording myself speaking, it wasn’t too bad. The editing of the video took nearly a lifetime. Still, in the end, if it helps someone, it’s well worth the work.

Keeping up with my Mind

I doubt I’ll keep going at my current pace once real life starts kicking in again. Also, I never know when my body is going to be a total jerk and take me down for the count (AGAIN). With any amount of luck, I’ll still feel the creative buzz through me because it truly makes me happy. Writing brings me a lot of joy.

Come back and see me soon! Next week I’ll have another Hidradenitis post for you unless something changes the topic.

Until next time. Keep your Mind in the Gutter!

Hidradenitis Suppurativa

August 15, 2022 Adventures with HS - Blog - Real Talk 1 Comment

A Pain in my Ass…LITERALLY

My Constant Companion

I have the vaguest of memories about the first time I realized something was wrong. I was nine years old. I had always been tall and fat, enough so that my fellow classmates made fun of me for it. But, unfortunately, I also started puberty. Imagine being fat and developing. Not the best time I’d ever had.

Not long after puberty started, I developed a large bump on the side of my groin. It hurt like hell. I remember my mom wanting me to walk to a store with her and I cried because the area hurt so badly I couldn’t walk. She heard nothing of it, of course, and dragged me out anyway.

Eventually, that one drained out and I felt better. Mom didn’t take me to a doctor or anything (not that doctors back then knew anything about hidradenitis back then). I was lucky it cleared up on it’s own.

But that wasn’t the only one. More came. Over and over again. On my groin. Under my arms. Under my breasts. And they hurt. And they smelled sometimes. I cried so many times over these areas. Why did I have to have this? What even was it?

It wasn’t until I was twenty-one that I got an answer.

Putting a Name to it

When I was twenty-one, I enrolled at a trade school to become a medical assistant. Part of that process included getting clearance from a doctor. My mom wasn’t big on doctors, so I never had a family doctor I went to regularly. Luckily the school had a partnership with local docs for cheap physicals with local doctors around the city. I made an appointment with one not far from my home.

Sick with nervousness, I went. I didn’t want to show off my underarms, which had become riddled with oozing holes and lumps. I thought for sure the doc would take a look and deny I was fit for duty. The doctor did look and finally gave me something I desperately needed: a name for what I had.

Hidradenitis suppratia. He didn’t really explain what it was, but having that much was practically a miracle. After he cleared me for school, I rushed home to jump on the internet to find out what in the ever actual loving f**k it was.

What is Hidradenitis Suppurativa, anyway?

Back then there wasn’t a whole lot of information. Still, what little I found gave me some peace of mind.

The explanation from Mayo Cliic:

Hidradenitis suppurativa (hi-drad-uh-NIE-tis sup-yoo-ruh-TIE-vuh) is a condition that causes small, painful lumps to form under the skin. The lumps usually develop in areas where your skin rubs together, such as the armpits, groin, buttocks and breasts. The lumps heal slowly, recur, and can lead to tunnels under the skin and scarring.

Mayo’s HS Page
via HSConnect

Yeah, it’s about as sexy as it sounds. I can say with 100% confidence, that it’s the absolute f***ing worst. Keep in mind, HS usually strikes areas where your skin rubs together. Arm pits, under boob, between the legs/thighs, ass crack. God, in the ass crack has been the absolute worst experience.

It has three different stages, aka Hurley stages. I’ve made a handy infographic about it below, but let me give you the Erica listing:

  • Hurley’s stage 1: Bad
  • Hurley’s stage 2: Terrible
  • Hurley’s stage 3: F***********K

I’ll bet you can guess which stage I’m in. I always thought it was bad, but it just got worse over time.

Finding a cure

Right now there isn’t a cure for HS. There are things you can do on your own and therapeutic methods you can receive through a doctor. I’m pretty sure I’ve been on all of them at this point.

Stuff You Can Try at Home

(Of course, seek out a physician’s advice first!)

Elimination Diet

For some, HS could be triggered by certain foods. Many have removed dairy, sugar, bread and nightshade veggies from their diets. In some cases, it does help. Take one of these out and see if that makes your flares slow down

Tea Tree Oil

A clean scented oil that soothes. I suggest mixing it with something like coconut oil before applying to your skin. It can be harsh.

Vick’s Vapo Rub

I know this sounds crazy, but it does help. Not only does it soothe, but many find it helps bring the affected lump to a head so it will burst and drain.

Dietary Supplements

Tumeric is a natural anti-inflammatory. You can either make a paste with it and put it on the affected area, use it in food or tea, or take it in capsule form. Zinc has also been known to help out as well.

Hibiclens

Oh, Hibiclens! Where would I be without you? It’s an Antibacterial and Antimicrobial skin cleanser. It keeps the bacteria on the skin from forming. I use it daily on my areas. It’s a bit watery, so you probably want to invest in getting the foaming pump version. I bought it once, then refilled it with regular bottles of the cleaner.

Again, please (PLEASE) speak to a doctor before starting any treatment! I want you to feel better AND be safe.

Treatments Doctors Could Suggest

Antibiotics

Your doctor will probably start you off with a regimen of low-dose antibiotics. Usually clindamycin or maybe something stronger like doxycycline. Just remember to take them on a full stomach (ask me how I know).

Biologics

From WebMD: Biologic drugs are human-made proteins that are designed to zero in on parts of the immune system that trigger inflammation. Medications such as Humira and Remicade fall under this.

Surgery

Every doctor I’ve had surgery with says they treat HS like cancer and remove it all (aka excision). Sometimes these can be large areas of the body. Healing can take a long time and can be grueling, but It will definitely bring relief once it’s all said and done. Unfortunately, the HS could return where you’ve had surgery.

Places to find help

HS is a wild ride and sometimes it can feel like the loneliest journey. You’re not alone, though. You can always hit me up and I’ll be happy to chat. Also, here are some places you can go to either find information or support. These sites are pretty active and can provide a lot of guidance.

Moving forward

Whew, that was a lot. I hope it helps! I will be doing an ongoing series in regard to my life with HS. Talking about it is therapeutic for me. Plus, maybe someone out there will see they’re not alone in dealing with this outrageous disease. As I said, it’s a pain in the ass, literally.

Keep your mind in the gutter. Until next time.

Twitch Stream Archive|College Craze 1

August 9, 2022 Smut Writer Vlog - SW Plays Games 0 Comments

I will be doing Twitch Streams, mostly of dating sim kind of games on Friday nights at 9PM EST. Most of the games are pretty adult. I’ll still post them here so you can get to the link easily.

This is one hour of College Craze by PrettyInk. It is an adult life simulator and dating sim where you play a college freshman getting her freak on. The tagline is “F**k around and find out” so you know what you’re in for.

My Twitch Stream

Here I Go Again on my Blog

August 8, 2022 Blog - Real Talk 0 Comments

That’s Right, I’m Back!

I know, I know…

I’ve been away a lot longer than I wanted to be. But, it’s not totally my fault, per se. There are three big reasons why I haven’t been around for the last few months:

  1. I got a promotion at work, so I was busier than normal
  2. I’ve been in a lot of pain thanks to a chronic condition I have (more on that later, though)
  3. Between these two things, my creativity and my energy have been totally wiped out

To be honest, I just couldn’t do it. Hell, I couldn’t do much of anything at all. Luckily, after being on medical leave and getting treatment, I’m feeling a little more like myself and I’ve been wanting to get back into some things I’d lost interest in temporarily. So, here I am, asking for forgiveness for being away so long. I’m back now. Hopefully for good! Unfortunately, I get flares from time to time, so it might not last as long as I like. Right now, though, I have a few weeks’ worths of content in my brain that I’m now working on.

Living with Hidradenitis Supprativa

I’ve dealt with this damn condition since I was nine years old. I didn’t know what it was until I was twenty-one, however. It’s a pain in the ass (lately, this is quite literal). A lot of people have never heard of it, including I doctor I saw recently for pain. I’m not mad at him. It’s rarely talked about.

My plan is to help change that. I want to start a series centered around understanding and living with HS. I’ve had a lot of experience in that area, plus it’s easier to point at my blog and say “This is what I’m going through” instead of having to explain over and over again.

Check back soon. The first post is already brewing.

If you need support right now for HS, check out the HS Foundation. It’s a great resource for information and help!

https://www.hs-foundation.org/

My Next Novel

The Last Fae needs a lot of editing, and so does its sequel, A Demon in her Skin (I love that title!). But, I need a break from that particular world. Lately, I’ve been really into another old story of mine. The tentative title is A Prince and his Dragon. It’s about a prince who is magically tied to a dragon trapped in human form. He has to go on the run from his kingdom after his family is betrayed by a foreign country. The bond between them is intensely sexual, though they both have mates and absolutely must resist. I’ll tell you more about it soon. I promise!

Your Smut Writer Plays Games

A girl needs something to get her going. I’ve always been a fan of games. Admittedly, I lean more towards things like Stardew Valley and House Flipper. But, a smut writer needs more! I’m perusing Steam to find free/cheap erotic games to play. I’m going to be Live streaming on Twitch on Fridays at 9 PM EST. I’ll also post videos to my two Youtube Channels: Erica B Writes Smut for a kind of review situation and Smut Writer Plays Games for the raw streams. They’ll be updated as I can.

Um….it’s not all going to be smut. I will also play whatever game strikes my fancy. House Flipper has become and addiction, and somehow the catalyst for getting me back into my creativity. Here’s a video for one of my oldest flips:

I’ve come a long way since then. I’ll update newer ones soon.

I’ll update my blog when I drop a video. Here’s my planned schedule as of right now:

  • Mondays for blog posts
  • Tuesdays for Erica B Writes Smut videos
  • Friday streaming on Twitch
  • Sunday uploading the raw streams to SW Plays Games

Of course, I may post things in between. Don’t forget to subscribe to keep up to date!

That’s where I’ve been and here is where I’m going. I’m going to keep moving forward as best I can. I hope you’ll take this journey with me.

Until next time!

Book Review: Signs of Cupidity

February 28, 2022 Blog - Book Reviews 0 Comments

Foreplay for your Brain

Today’s offering is Signs of Cupidity by Raven Kennedy.

About the book

Summary via Amazon:

You’d think that basically being in charge of love would be an epic job, right? Wrong. Sure, I can blow some Lust into people’s faces and watch the show, but I can’t actually participate. It gets old, trust me. Same goes for love. I can pass it out like sugar-free lollipops at a dentist’s office, but I can’t get any love for myself. It totally sucks.

I used to consider myself a hopeless romantic, so why wouldn’t I choose to become a cupid? Sounds like a good idea, right? Wrong again. They don’t call us stupid cupids for nothing. I’m stuck in this never-ending afterlife where I’m invisible, lonely, and bitter as hell. And yeah, I’m probably responsible for some terrible matchmaking out there. Sorry, not sorry.

All my bad cupid’ing might be why I was exiled from the human realm. You can only do so much before the cupid bosses get all huffy. Unfortunately, my bitterness carried over into the new realm, and then I attacked a fae prince with Love Arrows. Accidentally. Okay, not accidentally. But hey, he deserved it. What I didn’t expect was for him to retaliate and hit my ass with some crazy magic mojo strong enough to push me into the physical realm. Whoa.

That’s right. This cupid just got a real body. And you know what that means…Now, it’s my turn to get some. Love, I mean. Get your head out of the gutter. Wink, wink bitches.

Author’s Note: This is a medium-burn reverse harem story. It includes explicit language and sexual situations. Intended for audiences 18 years and older. As this is a series, there will be a cliffhanger.

Available on Amazon (Kindle) for $3.99 or for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.

Smut Rating: (Dirty)

Pleasure Score: (5 out of 5)

The Vibe

Have you ever seen The Good Place? Well, if you haven’t, you definitely should. I ask because Tales of Cupidity gives me the same kind of energy as that show. I know that might sound like a weird explanation, but I honestly can’t think of a better way to put it. It’s smart, well thought out, and vibrant. I found myself laughing out loud more than once, but sometimes it tugged at my heartstrings. Just like TGP.

I went into the story thinking it was just going to be all porn and no plot. Don’t get me wrong, that can be a good thing. In this case, though, the author gives a lot of good foreplay. Like REALLY good. And it leaves you wanting more.

The story is about a Cupid. Yes. Wings, bows and arrows, powers of love and lust. All those things. The downside to being a love-wielding being? She’s invisible to everyone. EVEN TO HERSELF. Our girl, Cupid 1050, is a sassy, rambunctious woman, but with no one to experience her wittiness. For decades, she’s been dolling out the love to humans without so much as a thank you.

Then one day, she gets called into the office. Turns out, she is getting a bit of a promotion. No more human world for her. Now she gets to experience the world of the Fae.

Unfortunately, it’s not all it’s hyped up to be.

Without going into too much detail, due to some wayward magic, she is turned into a corporeal being. Hell yeah, girl, time to experience some living! She winds up on an island of hunky males. And, well….you can imagine the rest. In fact, don’t! Give it a read to find out for yourself.

It’s actually a very adorable story about building trust with those around you and how that trust can slowly drift into love with the right bit of magic.

I’m obsessed with this book and I can’t wait to read the next part.

Pros and Cons

Pros

  • Funny–ML is channeling her inner Anna Kendrick the entire time. Okay, that’s just who I hear in my head as I read the character. Your brain may vary.
  • Smart–The Fae world is interesting and dynamic. Leaves you wanting to know more about the realm and what it holds. Plus the ties that bind the characters together make a lot of sense.
  • Well-written–That’s it. Just damn good writing. Kept me engaged! It took no time at all to breeze through.
  • Great characters–All the characters leave you wanting to know more about them. They felt like real people (or as real as Cupids and Fairy-folk can be).

Cons:

  • Short–Well, I did say it was a breeze to get through. It left me wanting more. Luckily, it’s part of a whole series. This first book took me about 3 hrs or less to read in all.
  • Smutless–That’s not to say it’s not erotic. I just was ready for a sex scene or two. That’s ok. I can wait. I’m patient!

EDBeale Thoughts

I haven’t read a reverse-harem book since my Anita Blake and Merry Gentry days, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. What I found was a wonderful new series to dive into. I’m definitely a fan! You should check this one out for sure. Total home run.

Did you read this one? Let me know what you thought about it. Did you also hear Anna Kendrick in your head? I can’t be the only one!

….Right?

Getting Grammarous

February 21, 2022 Blog - Random Tidbits - Real Talk 0 Comments

Back in my day…

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Okay, so it’s officially time to get with The Plan. Today we’re going with #11: Share the first piece you ever wrote – talk about how you’ve grown as a writer and what you’ve learned from it. Well, Getting Grammarous was one of the first articles I wrote on my original blog back in the day. Pour one out for More Bang…

The most important thing I learned from this is the words themselves. I had a very sketchy understanding of some of the latter words. I blame high school. I didn’t have an English teacher for most of my freshman year. I’m doing okay now. Luckily, I was blessed to have an amazing teacher for senior year. I got a lotta writing growth out of his class.

Another thing I learned is I’m not confident enough to post this kind of content. Just looking at it makes me wonder if I went the right way with the words. You have to teach what you know, but also be willing to learn from your mistakes.

Anyway, on with the show, lol.

A Flashback to More Bang

Getting Grammarous, EDBeale Style

Image by Kollakolla from Pixabay

There are a lot of blogs/websites devoted to helping people with grammar.  This is my take on the common errors and with some (hopefully!) insightful and memorable examples–E.D.B. style, aka dirty (I can’t help it; I write erotic fiction…) >:D.

The Triple T’s: To, Too, and Two

These dirty bastards have been giving people troubles for a long time.

To:  While it has a couple of other uses, it often goes along with “heading somewhere.” 

Ex: Let’s go to the store so we can buy a dirty movie.

Too:  Its used to say “also” or to indicate “very” or “excessive.”

Ex: Your sister can join us, too.

Two: It’s the number.

Ex: Sure, I’ve taken on two men at once before.  It was awesome!

The Difference in “Its”

Personally, I think these two are easy to mistake.

It’s:  This one is the contraction for “it is.”

Ex:  It’s so hard!

Its: This one is a possessive pronoun like yours, his, hers, etc.

Ex: I found one of my nipple tassels, but I can’t find its twin.

Affect vs. Effect

This is another one of those butt-kickers.

Affect: This one is to have an influence on.

Ex: Baby, you know how sexy black dress affects me.  I won’t be able to concentrate!

Effect:  Usually you’ll see this one as a result of something.

Ex: The Viagra had a positive effect on my husband’s libido.

Your and his cousin You’re

Well, maybe they’re more like step-siblings…

Your:  It’s one of those pesky possessive pronouns (ooh, baby, alliteration!)

Ex: I love how your body feels against mine.

You’re:  It’s the contraction for “you are.”

Ex: You’re the only one that I need.

Taking it Further/Farther

This is one that took me a long time to realize, personally.

Further:  When it comes to the amount of time, you use this one.  It’s also used for “additionally” and “degree of.”

Ex:  My date and I took it further than I planned, but that’s okay.  He’s hot!

Farther:  This one refers to distance.

Ex: Your house is farther away than mine, so let’s just go to mine. I can’t wait anymore!

Well, Good!

You’d think they’d be interchangeable.  Who would have thought that they were completely different?!

Well:  This one is normally an adverb for description. As an adjective, well means “healthy.”

Ex: (Adverb) Oh, baby, you know my body so well. *tremble with pleasure*

(Adjective) After that romp in the sack last night, you’re looking well.

Good: Good is an adjective. 

Ex: You taste good. >:D

Ugh…Lay vs. Lie

These are the worst of the worst, mostly because of their tenses. 

Lay:  This means to put something down.  More importantly, it has to be done to something else.

Ex: Lay your hands on my body.

Lie: This means to recline.

Ex: Lie on the bed with me so I can hold you.

Now, why are these so evil?  Well, the past tense of lay is “laid,” while the past of lie is “lay.” And that’s why people from other countries think English is hard to master…Ugh…

So, “Lay your hands on my body” would become “You laid your hands on my body.”  “Lie on the bed with me so I can hold you” becomes “Last night, you lay in bed with me so I could hold you.”

There are more words out there that are so similar yet so completely different.  With any luck, these will not be among them for you any longer! 

Oy…Words can be Rough

I’m seriously hoping I’m not losing face on my grammar knowledge. It’s been a LONG TIME since school. I just turned 41 recently, you know. I barely remember yesterday most days.

Check back soon for the insanity that is me!

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